A ‘Row-mance Review’ is a seasonal relationship check-up, to ensure you both are still in the same boat and rowing in the same direction. The ‘Row-mance Review’ isn’t about finding problems; it’s about being intentional. It’s a dedicated space to reflect, to celebrate your wins, to clear the air, and to forward plan. Think of it as a seasonal tune-up that keeps the catch smooth for the long haul. Take responsibility and acknowledge your own role in any conflict discussed, rather than placing sole blame on your partner.
Setting the vibe
Environment matters. Your intentional get-together shouldn’t feel like a corporate performance
review. Pick a ‘third space’, like going to your favourite coffee shop, taking a long walk in
nature, or going on a weekend away.
Follow the ‘golden rule’. Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than defensiveness.
The goal is to understand your partner’s perspective, not to “win” an argument. Aim to listen,
ask clarifying questions, and understand your partner first, before you engage in problem
solving.
Seven questions to ask each other
To get the conversation flowing, you can use some or all of these prompts.
1. What was your favourite ‘us’ moment from last year?
This question focuses on shared joy and reinforces what is working.
2. What is one recurring ‘small’ friction point we could solve together this month?
This question addresses the ‘pebble in the shoe’ before it becomes a blister.
This question addresses the ‘pebble in the shoe’ before it becomes a blister.
3. What would you like more from me?
Use positive language, rather than ‘what am I doing wrong?’ This question gives both of you a chance to tell each other what you need without blame or criticism. Let each other know how you partner can support you to make your day better and easier.
Use positive language, rather than ‘what am I doing wrong?’ This question gives both of you a chance to tell each other what you need without blame or criticism. Let each other know how you partner can support you to make your day better and easier.
4. What would you like less from me?
This question allows you to communicate what needs may have changed for you.
This question allows you to communicate what needs may have changed for you.
5. When do you feel most loved and appreciated?
Celebrate what is working well.
Celebrate what is working well.
6. Is there anything that has been bothering you that we haven’t talked about yet?
An encouraging invitation that can open a safe space for discussion.
An encouraging invitation that can open a safe space for discussion.
7. What is one way I can love you better in 2026?
This question focuses on one small step that is simple, direct, and actionable.
This question focuses on one small step that is simple, direct, and actionable.
Mapping the course
Once you’ve talked with each other, create a simple ‘Course Map’ for the year ahead. You don’t
need a 20-page manifest—just a few anchors to keep you connected. Some ideas include:
1. The non-negotiable date:
Commit to regular check-ins (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly) where phones go away and the focus is solely on each other.
Commit to regular check-ins (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly) where phones go away and the focus is solely on each other.
2. The shared dream:
Pick one big thing to look forward to. It could be a trip, a home project, or learning a new skill together.
Pick one big thing to look forward to. It could be a trip, a home project, or learning a new skill together.
3. The ‘micro-connection’:
Identify small daily habits, e.g. a morning coffee together or a ‘no-phones’ rule during dinner.
Identify small daily habits, e.g. a morning coffee together or a ‘no-phones’ rule during dinner.
In summary
Like rowing boats, relationships don’t stay on track by accident; they stay on track because two people decide to work together and keep checking in. By starting 2026 with an honest, loving
conversation, you aren’t just hoping for a good year—you’re actively building one.
Like sportspeople, we sometimes need another person to help keeping us on track and
improving our status-quo. If you feel this might be helpful for you, reach out. I am here to
support you.